the new (and not so improved) maddiwilson.com

A few days ago, I was sitting with a friend. Part way through our conversation he made an off-hand comment:

When I’m alone for a long time my mind goes to dark places

Of course, I laughed after he said this. In fact, I told him one day I would include this quote in this blog. I suppose today is that day.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been alone too much lately. To be specific, for the past two days I’ve been at home, in bed, sometimes doing assignments or eating. Essentially, it’s been two straight days of being engrossed in readings or my own head. This turned out to be slightly self-destructive to my mental state. Yet, here I am, still in bed.

I’ve always been that person who spends way too much time in their own head. I’ve discovered that thoughts can be deafening and intrusive.

They can also be demanding.

Maybe that’s why I began to write. The demanding thoughts needed to be put on paper. I had to send them out of myself into a different space, where they could be saved away and ignored for another day. Sometimes the thoughts make it onto this blog.

After that conversation with my friend, I had some sort of self-realization. I thought to myself:

Maybe you spend too much time in those dark thoughts. Maybe that’s what’s holding you back from really getting things done.

Truly, even I get frustrated with my own ever-present, pessimistic attitude. And this frustration (along with the continued avoidance of getting assignments done) has led me to the post I’m currently writing, in which, I’ve decided to change up my blog content.

What will my content become?

Your guess is as good as mine.

The only thing I know for sure is that it will force me to think of the present, rather than getting stuck in my own head.

And hopefully I’ll come up with some cool shit you’ll be down to read.

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